Launching an Offensive Attack
Sally’s Note: This is my favorite post in response to Tip Junkie’s Talk To Me Tuesday Post. Please enjoy!
As I took 
out the trash tonight, I came across my arch-nemesis, perched in between the two cars, set to unleash her terror upon my soul:
As you know of my love of spiders, this sent me into panic. I thought about just letting it go – live and let live. But my panic-self convinced me that it would probably end up in my car in the morning.
Attack!!!!
Grabbing one of James’ muddy tennis shoes, I hurled my missile at it. The cunning spider dodged it. Oh ho! So you think you can defeat me!
I adjusted my aim and launched the other shoe. Another miss! Then she ran after me. I retreated, screaming like a schoolgirl.
Furtively looking for additional ammunition, my eyes settled on the trash bag from my initial mission. Victory is mine! My load of trash is huge. I can’t possibly miss! I tossed the bag over to where the spider stood her ground. (I refuse to believe I was warring with a male spider. There was just too much intelligence.)
Satisfied that in all likelihood I managed to smash the spider to smithereens, I trotted down the driveway to retrieve the trashcan from the side of the road, making sure I went around the car to avoid the battleground – just in case.
After replacing the trashcan to its usual spot, I contemplated my next move. To ensure my last attack was successful, I decided to drag the trash bag across the pavement a little ways. As soon I as pulled on the bag, she jumps from behind the bag, revealing her unmangled body and laughing her devilish laugh. (It was very high-pitched and eerie.)
I grabbed the bag. She charged. I retreated and launched the fat missile again in her direction. Dammit!! Another miss!
It was time to bring out the big guns! I retreated into the house to grab some supplies. This was turning into a battle of epic proportions. I grabbed a bottle of Clorox kitchen cleaner and my camera. I didn’t think anyone would believe me. At this time, James saunters in the kitchen, and he’s confused by the arsenal I’m carrying. All I have to say is Spider.
James chuckles, calmly steps outside, and smashes the spider with his shoe.
He’s my hero.
P.S. The 99% humidity prevented me from getting a picture, but I swear it all happened.
For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a mother. God blessed me with three wonderful children, who keep me going. My husband and I have been married for almost 12 years, and he’s my best friend.