Who is this person who makes me feel so terrible inside, who cuts me to the core, whose unrelenting judgment saps my energy?
She sets unrealistic expectations and berates me for not hitting the mark. She over-commits, leaving me no time to recharge. She chastises and magnifies all my weaknesses.
I can’t ignore this bully because she is me after all.
I am trying not to fall victim to my mental self-mutilation. It’s a skill I have not yet mastered, but I’m working on it bit by bit. Here’s what I’m trying. Perhaps it will help someone who has the same issues I do.
1. I’m giving myself a break. I remind myself I can’t do it all and that doesn’t make me a failure. Although I get disappointed when I can’t do something I want to do, I ask myself was anyone hurt by the fact I didn’t do something? Most often it didn’t. No harm, no foul, right?
2. I’m learning to be realistic about time. Sometimes I think something will take me a couple hours, and it ends up taking all day. On the other hand, if I think something will take a long time, I procrastinate. Then one of two things happen: sometimes it only takes a fraction of the time I thought it was going to take or I let things pile up so that it takes even longer.
3. Here’s my biggest challenge – getting enough sleep. I find the more tired I am, the more unreasonable and moodier I become. With my problems with No. 2, getting the proper amount of sleep eludes me. And with it, my mental well-being is taking a serious hit.
I am a work in progress, but I am worth the effort!
When I start getting down on myself, I ask myself Is this loving myself? Then I gently remind myself to be kinder to me and give myself a mental hug.
Virtual hugs to all of you!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Sally Ash. Sally Ash said: Are you your own worst enemy? http://bit.ly/cNJl8Y [...]
Sally – let me know how this goes for you… I hope really well! I’ll just keep taking drugs like the doctor recommends