One Saturday afternoon we took a family trip to Academy, the sporting goods store. I took Diva to the clothes sales racks while James took the boys to look at basically everything else. Diva and I were having a fantastic time.
However, our wonderful mother-daughter shopping time came to a screeching halt when an irritated James appeared with the boys. He was ready to go home; the boys had worn him out. I completely understood, so I told Diva it was time to go.
She was disappointed and perplexed why we had to leave.
“Is Daddy the boss of you?” she asked.
“No! No! No! Daddy is NOT the boss of me!”
How could she think that?
I had to set her straight. “Daddy and I are not the boss of each other.”
Now that I think of it though, we are a bit bossy.
I find it’s hard for me to ask James to do something without being bossy or sound like I’m nagging.
I try to ask, “Do you mind doing the dishes?”
I know what he’s going to say as soon as the question is asked.
“Yes, I do mind.” He cackles. I roll my eyes and sigh.
That’s not to say that sometimes I don’t bark out “Can you do the dishes!” as in “I’m swamped at work, and I’m checking homework, bathing kids, checking backpacks, mediating the current kid squabble, and I’m t-i-r-e-d, and I just need you to pitch in just this once, so I don’t lose my m-i-n-d!”
To be fair, James does pitch in and not only when I ask him.
He has his areas of responsibilities, and they aren’t necessary gender traditional. For instance, he is, for the most part, in charge of cooking. He’s also responsible for getting everyone up because he’s the morning person. And pulling teeth. Definitely pulling teeth.
So I guess the short answer to “who’s in charge here” is “it depends.” I’ll let him be in charge of some things as long as he’s not the boss of me.
I’m a mom to three fantastic kids, wife of an awesome husband, and work my tail off full-time outside the home as a research analyst. Here I share my experiences and lessons I’ve learned along the way. You can follow me by subscribing to my feed or elect to receive my posts via email. You can also follow me on Twitter via @dwtkmom and like my page on Facebook. Thank you!
